Sexucation for your kids...

Last week I caught an episode of Oprah (oh, the joys of working from home!) The subject was educating your children about sex, when to do it and what to say. I was absolutely elated by the information provided by Dr. Laura Berman. Even though the Oprah audience wasn't too thrilled with some of her ideas, I was spot on with it all.

Not too long ago it became apparent to me that I needed to have a conversation with my 15 year old son about "alone time." I won't go into details why (he'd kill me if he ever read it) so all I will say is, it was clear to me he needed a good talking to. Every mother, when faced with this reality, will question themselves. Am I giving too much information? Am I giving enough information? At this point I feel very confident that I handled the situation in the right way and, thanks to Dr. Berman, I am armed with the knowledge of how to handle the situation with my daughter. Girls, always seem a little different than boys for some reason. Even though they really shouldn't be treated any different.

Here is a synopsis of what Dr. Berman said about educating your kids about sex...

• From birth: Always use the correct names for their body parts. Also, don't scold them for touching their genitals.
• Around 2 or 3 years old: Teach them about "good touch and bad touch." Make sure they understand that they are called "private parts" because they are private and only they get to touch them when they are alone. No one else is allowed to.
• 2nd to 4th grade: The "where do babies come from" stage. At this point you will answer their questions about sex fairly straight forward and technically. "When and woman and a man are married and want to have children, the man puts his penis into the woman's vagina. His semen goes into the vagina and into the fallopian tube were it meets the egg and a baby will grow."
• 5th or 6th grade: Begin speaking more about self stimulation and the mechanics of sex. Also make sure you express your hopes and dreams about their sex life. For instance, "I hope that someday when you are older, you fall in love with someone who deserves the amazing gift that sex is."
• 7th to 9th grade: Keep an open communication with them about the information they are receiving from their peers and what types of sexual situations they are getting into. Depending on your child's circumstance, this may be the age that sexting and oral sex will begin. For your daughters have a real conversation about orgasm and how it occurs for them. Boys will have figured it out by now. This is a good time to introduce a small clitoral vibe or bulett for your teen girl.
  
• 9th to 12th grade: Reinforce what you have taught them about waiting for love, marriage etc. Communicate with them about the pressures they face.

I absolutely loved the idea of introducing a small vibe, like the one to the right, to your teenage daughter, however this was the biggest shock to the Oprah audience! Dr. Berman explained it in such a fantastic way... Girls are especially susceptible to relating the sexual pleasures a boy may be giving her to "love." Particularly when they have never experienced these pleasures before. By giving your daughter the power to provide those pleasures to herself, you are empowering her to say NO to an over excited young man. She will not equate these feelings to love but to a physical response her body is simply capable of having even without a boy.

I would like to urge all of you to check out Oprah.com about this episode and to download Dr. Laura Berman's handbook.