New Year's Romance-olutions

With a new year upon us, many of you have set some resolutions for 2010 to better yourself in some way. Becoming physically fit, loosing weight, quit drinking or smoking, getting organized and getting out of debt are all common resolutions made each year.

However, I would like to challenge you to make a separate resolution for your relationship!

Many of you have probably experienced some tough times lately. With economical problems for so many, no wonder why couples are experiencing relationship problems right now. In hard times, one of two things typically happen... Either you lean on the one you love or you let the stress push you further away. The latter of the two can be devastating to a healthy relationship.

Take some time to really evaluate your romance level right now. Are there things you need to focus on? If so, you have a New Year's Romance-olution! Here are a few examples...

Date Night: Once a week would be fantastic but once a month can work wonders for a relationship starting to weaken. Remember, "date night" doesn't have to be to a fancy expensive restaurant. Sometimes even an evening at the movies can cost more than many can afford in this time. Get creative and keep "date night" affordable for you or your families circumstance. A picnic or walk at the park, a special candle lit midnight "snack" after the kids are in bed, game night at home or stargazing in the back yard. The idea is it doesn't have to cost anything to enjoy each other and to reconnect.

Communication: If you have found yourself and the one you love having more stress or arguments, consider focusing on your communication. Have a conversation with your lover about your desire to work on your communication. There are many books that can help to learn techniques that will literally save a marriage. Communication is KEY in any relationship. Whether you are communicating about money, kids, work, sex or even politics, if you don't have a good technique for talking to each other, problems will arise.

More Frequent Intercourse: Not only does intercourse help to release hormones that will keep you connected, it is also a lot of fun. Besides that, who would want to fight with someone they just had great sex with the night before? It's proven that couples who have sex frequently have stronger relationships, they fight less and they feel connected to each other. Not only that but on a personal level you will feel happier, less stressed and loved and secure. Two to three night per week is a good number to shoot for. Every day, even better! I say, go for it as often as possible. Don't limit yourself, instead put a "minimum" on the number of times a week you take a roll in the hay!

The Sex Room

Your bedroom. You've probably heard before that your bedroom should be a sanctuary. A place to retreat after a stressful day. However, the second most important function your bedroom has besides rest and relaxation is romance. In fact, when decorating your bedroom it is extremely important to keep the three "R's" in mind. Today I want to give you some tips to really heat things up for you and your lover, not only between the sheets, but throughout the entire room.

Mood: Ask yourself what mood you want to set within the bedroom. Are you looking more towards a romantic getaway or for some steamy passion? What feelings do you want to evoke when you step inside? Make a list of the things that are most important to you and your lover. If you are leaning more towards romance, you may envision a light airy feel with white linens and warm toned walls and accents. Leaning towards a more passionate experience may warrant walls of red and satin linens. Set the stage first by defining the mood and the rest will come easy.

Color: The color you choose to decorate with can set a clear tone for the emotions you plan to evoke. Red, for example, is the color of passion and power. It is the ultimate sexy color. While white is definitely more relaxing. Think about the mixtures of color too. What relaxation with a chance of passion? Decorate in white and accent with the red. Purple is a color of romance and can be a very good choice because it neither too masculine or feminine. Some other romantic suggestions are: Grey, brown, blue and green. Accent colors: Black, red, pink and white.

The Bed: Because the bed is the largest piece of furniture in the room and where you will be spending most of your time, really focus on dressing the bed for the part. I like to use this example: Consider the type of lingerie you and your lover enjoy the most. Do you prefer white flowing satin gowns or are you a leather and lace type of couple? This reference can give you some idea of what direction to take when dressing your bed. Pay close attention to the fabrics and textures you introduce. A large part of sexual sensation comes from what we feel on our skin. Satin, silk, cotton and even fur can enhance your sexual experience. Don't forget the pillows. Although most of the time the pillows end up on the floor, no one can dispute the fact that pillows give a welcoming feeling. It's the beds version of the "come hither" look.

Lighting: Another important aspect of a romantic room. Lighting can really set the mood and the ambiance you are looking for. Over head lighting can be dressed with chandeliers. Adding the right lamps and strategically placed candles. Lots of candles. Keep in mind that lighting not only sets a mood but it can also enhance how you look. A lamp will hide your cellulite and a tinted bulb can enhance your skin tone. One fun and surprising tip I have for you, add a black light placed behind the headboard for those extra playful evenings.

Accents: Accenting is sometimes overlooked but can really add to and enhance the mood of the room. Add accents so all senses are stimulated into a romantic state. Touch- This will be accomplished through the fabrics you have chosen for the bedding. But don't forget you can add fun things such as feathers that may be accessible during massage or play time. Sight- Flowers and plants, sensual artwork, sculptures and lingerie. Sound- Your favorite romantic music is a must but also consider a white noise machine. Taste- One of my favorites because we are always told not to eat in our beds but here I am telling you TO eat. Fruit, chocolate, whipped cream. If you want to go the safe route, with non perishables, there are so many fun edible lotions and potions. Create a small arsenal of your favorite flavors. Last is Smell- Scented candles, linens sprays, perfume, cologne. You will know what will work best in your bedroom. But don't neglect your sense of smell.

Things To Avoid: Clutter, family pictures, kids toys, and even laundry can kill the mood. If you must have a television or computer in the room, find a way to hind it. A cabinet for electronics can do wonders for the mood. Electronics can divert the attention you should be paying to your partner.

Once your love nest is complete you can look forward to endless nights of rest, relaxation and romance!